[Editors: We welcome Luke, our newest blogger! He may be new to making deputations but he's an old hand at using the English language to our benefit.] What do you get when you mix a rookie depu-tant, politicians and an agenda? Motion sickness and appendicitis. And maybe some insight as well. Let me explain.

On Monday, Sept 08, I attended a session of the PWIC (Public Works and Infrastructure Committee). Now I have to confess that politics is about as appealing as a case of hemorrhoids, with the added affront that, while the second can be quickly cured with a suppository, you can be assured that politicians will continue to be a royal pain in the ass for life.

But there I was, intent upon making a deputation on an agenda item -- a first-time depu-tant! The item in question was the next phase of bike lanes slated for installment as per the The Toronto Bike Plan, which at its present rate, will be fully implemented when our sun is due to supernova.

And no wonder. One dim bulb on the committee, a councillor John Parker, after fulminating against what he ostensibly took to be a nefarious plot to crisscross Toronto with bike lanes was surprised to discover that a) the proposed lanes were part of the Toronto Bike Plan and; b) There IS an official Toronto Bike Plan -- since 2001 don't cha know! In the midst of his railing that he must be informed of such fifth column conspiracies and supplied a copy of the concerned manifesto, columnist John Barber of the Globe and Mail, in exasperation, shouted from the gallery to "Just get one!"

Let me help you Councillor Parker because you're clearly out of your depth which, if your glaring information deficit is any indication, looks to be about as shallow as a skillet. To obtain a copy of the Toronto Bike Plan do this: Cruise on over to City of Toronto Bike Plan web page and click on "Download the full Toronto Bike Plan". There, that took, what, 5 minutes? If we ultimately get the politicians we deserve, what the hell did we do to deserve this?

Then there was Doug Holyday. Not a member of the PWIC, credit him with enough of an interest to involve himself in the proceedings. The councillor, demonstrably not a velophile, was openly skeptical that taxpayers were getting their money's worth by investing in bike lanes; he questioned the wisdom of installing a bikeway on such a truck intensive route as Horner Ave. (Councillor Grimes also didn't favour this bikeway.)

And there were some valid points. Questioning another depu-tant, Ron Fletcher of TBN about initiatives that seek to discourage driving, Holyday asked, "Shouldn't we be frank and just say [to our constituents] we want them out of their cars? Shouldn't we let them decide that?"

Yes, we should be frank and we should be honest. But what we shouldn't be is simplistic. So let's also ask constituents if they, along with their cars, want toxic smog, horrendous gridlock, and the ever increasing expense of automobile infrastructure as a constant in their lives. Because if they all want their cars in spite of these scourges, they should resign themselves to the inevitable consequences, and then we can all stop wasting time pretending we can cure the symptoms of the patient by feeding the disease. Then, Councillor Holyday, we can all join hands and sing the praises of the Front Street Extension: another $250 million down the crapper to shift a traffic jam 2 kilometers westward...

Councillors De Baeremaeker and Giambrone -- impressive geometric coif! -- were a welcome respite. Their commitment to mass transit and cycling infrastructure seemed genuine to this novice's eye. Both their responses to Holyday's disparagement of a velo-centric agenda was especially effective and eloquent. And Giambrone summoning facts and citing other cities' (like Ottawa's) programs as templates made for a persuasive argument.

But if politics is the art of the impossible, bureaucracy is the art of making the assured impossible. Which brings us to how best intentions and straightforward initiatives can become bogged down in bureaucratic mires. The bikeway proposed for Brimorton Drive in Scarborough is in the ward of Councillor Glenn De Baeremaeker - which I mistakenly pronounced 'Beer-maker' in my deputation! (Still a more prestigious vocation than politician in my humble opinion.) GDB is also chair of the PWIC and is at the vanguard of proponents for more cycling infrastructure. So done deal, right? Wrong.

From what I gather, the stumbling block was the trees. Yup, that's right, the trees weren't in the budget. Or some such, but I'm not sure because here I succumbed. There began such a forwarding and receding of motions and counter-motions between whoever had the floor, the chair and the vice-chair and sundry other pieces of furniture; numerous convoluted references to budgetary allocations, departments and committees and their relations to said motions and corresponding appendices A and B that I was overcome by twin bouts of motion sickness and appendicitis.

Fresh air is what I needed. A retreat to the hallway where, thankfully, Anthony Humphries provided some context and restored some clarity to this novice. Anthony is experienced in the protocols of deputations, committees, and other indignities attendant to the political process. Clearly there's an art to effectively presenting a deputation which I've yet to master. In retrospect I should have refrained from declaring that De Baeremaeker's ward was among those absolutely hostile to cycling. Or stopped when a councillor's eyes began rolling backward in their sockets. But I had a tough act to follow -- all those making deputations did.

You see the real thrill of the morning had little to do with bike lanes, deputations or a glimpse of the machinery of state sputtering along. It was about vision, imagination and guts. It was expressed in a Colombian accent, displayed with a presentation that could not fail to inspire, and borne out in the experience of one who dared to do more than just dream.

Welcome Gil Penalosa. To see not only the ideal, but also cities -- I love New York! -- emerging from their cocoon of blight in the process of becoming that ideal, is enough to galvanize hope for Toronto. It was obvious that some councillors agreed.

But as to what bike lanes they actually agreed to recommend, well, that's not so clear.